“New Year, New Me” is a popular idea. You will seen it all over social media at this time of year.
At the start of January, many people feel motivated. We want to be healthier, more confident, more successful. We make big plans and imagine our life changing very quickly.
But for many people, these plans do not last long. By mid-January, motivation is gone. Old habits return and we feel disappointed and blame ourselves. We think we are lazy or not strong enough.
If this feels familiar, here is some good news. This is not a personal failure. There is a clear and normal reason why this happens.
The Rubber Band Effect
When people set New Year’s resolutions, they often aim very high. They decide to exercise every day, completely change their diet, learn a new language or plan to change their career. They try to change everything at once.
At first, this feels exciting. But for the body, it can feel stressful. When a goal feels too big or too fast, the nervous system sees it as a risk. Big change means uncertainty. And uncertainty does not feel safe to the body.
So the body tries to protect itself. Like a rubber band, the harder we stretch ourselves away from our normal life, the stronger the pull back to what feels familiar. This is why people often freeze, avoid studying, or procrastinate, even when they really want to succeed.
This is not laziness. It is a stress response.
What Is the Nervous System?
The nervous system is a real biological system in the body.
It includes the brain, the spinal cord, and nerves that send messages around the body. Its main job is simple: to keep you safe.
All day, your nervous system asks one important question: “Am I safe right now?” If the answer is yes, your brain can focus on learning, planning, and long-term goals. If the answer is no, your body moves into protection mode.
This system developed to protect humans from danger. But it cannot clearly see the difference between physical danger and emotional stress. Things like exams, deadlines, job pressure, or fear of failure can all activate the same stress response. When this happens, it becomes harder to concentrate, make decisions or stick to plans, even if you really want to. This is why big goals can sometimes lead to procrastination.
Why Willpower Is Not Enough
Many people think they need more discipline. They try to force themselves to study or work harder. When this does not work, they feel frustrated with themselves.
But willpower is not designed to work when the nervous system feels stressed. It is short-term, not a long-term solution. If we want real progress, we need to work with the brain, rather than fight against it.
Smaller Goals Work Better
This is why I often recommend setting SMART goals. These are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Timely (they have a deadline). These goals help because they feel clear and manageable. Instead of trying to change everything, you focus on one small, realistic goal at a time.
At Intrepid English, I meet with students once a month to set goals for the next four weeks. If a student has a big goal, we break it into smaller steps.
We decide exactly what progress looks like and create a simple plan. This helps the brain feel safe and supported. Each small success builds confidence and makes it easier to continue.
Real Growth Is Slow and Steady
One common mistake with New Year’s resolutions is thinking that change must be dramatic. In reality, real progress takes time. It comes from small actions repeated regularly. Even on busy days and on days when motivation is low. This works for learning English, building confidence, improving health, or developing your career. Small steps, taken often, are much more powerful than big plans that feel overwhelming.
Instead of asking: “Who do I want to become this year?”, try asking, “What is one small, realistic change I can work on this month?” When progress feels safe, it becomes consistent. And consistent progress leads to real change.
This article is written for A2–B1 level English learners. A longer, more advanced version is available on Substack if you would like to explore the ideas in more depth.
What Would You Like to Work On Next?
If you would like support with your goals, here are two ways we can help:
Improve your English
Book a £1 trial lesson with Intrepid English and get a clear plan for building confidence and progress in your English.
Develop confidence and communication at work
If you want to learn more about nervous system regulation and finally overcome the barriers holding you back in your career, explore the Global Communicators Hub.
Change does not happen through pressure or perfect plans. It happens when goals feel clear, manageable and supported. When you understand how your brain works and take small, consistent steps, progress becomes possible without making you feel overwhelmed.
If you are ready to move forward with the right structure and support, we are here to help.